Brett Ethridge (00:02.424)
Fatherhood is a source of motivation and purpose. Charlie Kirk.
Rolling. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Faithful Fatherhood podcast. I am Brett Etheridge, co-host of the podcast, joined by Perry. Perry, how are you this morning?
Perry (00:20.438)
I'm doing well, a little sore in a bad way. I've got a little tweak in my elbow today from an overzealous jujitsu practitioner that I was paired with yesterday. So got a little tweak in my elbow, but so yeah, for the listeners, if anybody's out there, you're pray for my elbow, that'd be great. The left one's feeling a little tender, no major injuries. I just think it's just a little tweak, but yeah, I'm doing okay. How about you?
Brett Ethridge (00:48.462)
Well, I'm glad to hear that we're doing well. I know you guys have also had some sickness ripped through your family. We're good. We're healthy. No major injuries or even soreness. I can tell that I am exercising infrequently enough that I have no soreness in my body right now, usually because when I'm exercising hard and doing CrossFit or rowing or whatever it is, I always have a little nagging something going on.
Perry (00:53.052)
That's right.
Perry (01:14.844)
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Brett Ethridge (01:15.906)
Right now I feel pretty good, which probably means I need to go kick my own butt a little bit this afternoon and get myself sore for tomorrow. So anyway, we're all good and ready to have this conversation. Often we do a fatherhood win or have a little bit more chit chat in the beginning. I think we just need to dive right in and talk about Charlie Kirk, something that we're all aware of his assassination a couple of weeks ago. Now I know it's been a few weeks.
a couple of weeks at least since his very public assassination. But there are things that we want to talk about here with respect to his fatherhood that are really timeless messages. I think the timing is right to have this conversation. And we are going to focus primarily on what he taught us about fatherhood. Because when I think back to a couple of weeks ago,
and that shot rang out and the world seemingly stopped. I mean, to my way of thinking, it's one of the sort of the most impactful time sort of stops moments really since 9-11. It's one of those things where it's like, I remember where I was when that happened around the world. You saw people demonstrating in London and in cities around the world. It wasn't just an American event. And as I've been reflecting on why, why that is, why
Perry (02:31.289)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (02:42.858)
this really sort of galvanized people and unlocked something in people and really brought people together in a profound and powerful way. Now, I fully acknowledge it all. It has also exacerbated some division within our country. And there's been a lot of that going on as well. But I think in general, when you're able to pack an entire stadium as a memorial service for this man and what happened.
Perry (03:01.456)
Right.
Brett Ethridge (03:11.042)
There is a reason for that and a deep reason for that. And as I reflect on it, I think a big part of that reason is because of the innate recognition of the inhumanity of stealing a father from his kids in front of his kids and from stealing a husband away from his wife in front of his wife.
And it's that aspect of things way more than any of the politics that plenty of people from the left spoke out to say how horrific it was, how unjust it was for Charlie's life to be cut short, that nobody deserves that because he is a father. Because they left behind two young kids who will now grow up without a father, a wife who will grow up
or continue to raise kids without the husband. And to me, that is the aspect of this that moved people in such a profound way across the political aisle. And I might be wrong about that. You guys might think differently about that, Perry. I certainly welcome your thoughts on that. But to me, it's sort of, you know, even amongst people who may not have been able to verbalize the importance and value of a father in the home.
It's sort of like, you know, people who disavow God. I am an atheist. I don't believe in God. And then you get close to death and you're like, I probably should pray to God. You know, it's like, or I just got diagnosed with cancer. I've been an atheist my whole life, but I probably now should try to figure out this whole God thing. It becomes very real in that moment. And so even people who may not have really fully understood the importance of a father or that wouldn't have been a pillar of what they care about as a value, all of a sudden.
recognize at a deep intuitive level that a father matters, a father in the home matters, a good, compassionate, loving man who loves his family matters, and a family has been torn apart because of that. And to me, that's a big part of what happened. And that is something that I think we can speak to on a fatherhood podcast because it was such a central element to Charlie Kirk as a man. But this story that has really
Brett Ethridge (05:35.064)
captivated the world.
Perry (05:37.114)
Yeah, 100%. I agree with that, Brett. And I think also additionally, you know, I was talking to one of my friends about it and interesting, interestingly enough, he nor I had had much exposure to Charlie Kirk over the years, which I know is kind of surprising to realize seeing the level of fame and influence that he had accumulated and or arrived at, you know, by this point in time.
But I just didn't have a lot of exposure to him for whatever reason. But my friend was just talking about how very much he doesn't like the fact that we live in a world currently where someone can be assassinated because of their beliefs. And it's not like he was out there promoting violence or insinuating riots or like he wasn't out in the world doing these.
horrible things and I'm not saying somebody should be assassinated for that. There should be proper justice systems should be applied. But he just believed different than some of the world believed. And he's just out there promoting ideas. We want to believe that we live in a country that's free enough to where you can go out in the street and have debates with people and talk intelligently and compassionately and with empathy.
towards others and have discussions because we're not all gonna agree about the same things. We're gonna have different views. We're gonna have different life experiences. We're have different opinions. And yet, that's what he was out there doing and got assassinated.
Brett Ethridge (07:22.892)
Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to make sense of. But I do think we get to celebrate his life a little bit as we talk about some things that we do know about Charlie Kirk, some things that we have learned. And specifically, as I suggested, I just want to talk about things that we have learned that I personally feel like I have learned about fatherhood from Charlie Kirk and things that I want to be more intentional about in my own family.
And really, think things that a lot of people around the world have gravitated to around Charlie's message around fatherhood. so let's dive in with that. Certainly look forward to hearing some of your thoughts on all of this, as well. But I think the number one thing that I would emphasize that I think Charlie was about and that I would say that I learned from him and that we should all take to heart is that family is more important than anything else short of, you know, he was very
very clear that the number one thing for him was his relationship with Jesus and that bringing people to Christ was his number one mission on this earth. But second to that it was family and that fatherhood ultimately was his number one job. And I think again that's why it's so heartbreaking. A lot of us probably have listened to Erica Kirk and some of the things she has said, his wife, since he was assassinated.
my heart broke and I came here to weeping thinking about this where she related what we all knew would happen at some point and she told the story of when it happened the very first night afterwards and his little three year old daughter came up to Eric and said, when's daddy coming home? When's daddy coming home that very first night? How do you answer that question? How do you tell a three year old that daddy's not coming home anymore? And she had an interesting response in the moment. said, she told her,
daughter that daddy went on a business trip of Jesus. You know, he wouldn't be coming home yet. And so I'm sure she has said other things since then. that's, but that's that, that's that human element that that touches so many people. But for Charlie, the reason that was what he was all about, right? He was coming home, he would always come home. He was present in the lives of his kids. It was the great joy of his life to be a father for those kids.
Brett Ethridge (09:45.602)
to me, one of the indelible images amongst all of the videos that we've all seen on TV or sought out on social media would be times when he'd walk off a stage, know, here's this man who is speaking at the Republican National Convention or giving these big speeches in front of tens of thousands of people. and a lot of times it's easy to think that that is arriving, you know, in our jobs, for example, if we have a big meeting or a big breakthrough where we are the one up on stage giving
you know, powerful speeches to tens or hundreds of thousands of people that that is we have like arrived. No, but the best moment for him is then walking off stage, his three year old daughter's waiting for him, sees him, runs across the concourse. He opens his arm wide to embrace his daughter, to have that connection, because that's what matters is seeing his family then after getting off of stage. And so and to me, that's that's it.
You know, and I think the one final story I would say along these lines is one of the videos that touched me deeply after, after he was assassinated that I watched was a man who had not been living his life well. And he just went on social media to talk about how he felt very convicted about the kind of man he was and wanting to be better. And he said he was resolved to be a better father and a better husband. And, that's what it's all about. And that, and that.
That was Charlie's message as well. This man didn't say, man, I wish I could debate abortion better because of Charlie. No, it was like, I feel convicted that I want to be a better man. I want to be a better husband. I want to be a better father for my kids because that's what Charlie was. And that comes through and that was just taken from this world. So now it's my job to step up in those areas.
Perry (11:16.474)
Yeah.
Perry (11:36.729)
Yeah, and you know, you might, somebody can be an excellent debater or a fantastic orator or whatever, you know, and it's like a role that they play or it's a persona that they are or it's, you know, whatever. But if they're just like a
horrible person inside. You know, like when you're up on stage, can kind of, you know, you can kind of like hide that other stuff about your life, right? Sure. Yes. Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (12:06.296)
happens all the times. have pastors who are hiding secrets in, politicians obviously often have a lot of things going on behind the scenes but on stage they look great.
Perry (12:15.309)
Right. Yeah. But as the role of like husband and father, like you just can't fake that, you know, like you can't fake that because your kids will see your if he was a father that wasn't present in the lives of his kids, like those kids aren't going to just flock to him like that. You know, if he wasn't kind and loving and compassionate and all the things we want to be as fathers to his kids, like the kids wouldn't light up when they see him like that. They wouldn't.
Brett Ethridge (12:23.054)
You can't fake the smile on your three-year-old daughter's face.
Perry (12:45.379)
run to him, cling to him, all those things, you know? And you just can't fake that, like, authentically good fatherhood. You can't fake that. You can't fake who you are to your wife. Like, she's gonna see through the stage persona or whatever. And I'm not insinuating at all that Charlie was presenting himself in some way on stage, that he wasn't at home. What I'm saying is the exact opposite, that he was authentically him, from at least my minimal exposure and perspective.
But yeah, that screams to the fact that fatherhood was, and marriage, the role of husband was his high calling, his high priority. And then second fiddle is all this other stuff that he's so famous for.
Brett Ethridge (13:31.278)
And I would just add one extra thing here, and it may bring comfort to some of you guys listening as it has to me as I've been reflecting on this a little bit more. It's unjust in my mind that his life was cut short with a three-year-old daughter and a younger son. I forget the age of the son, one, one and a half, something like that. You know, we could have a whole separate conversation about though how much good has already come out of it and how
God spends it for good and the revival really in the church and people flocking to church and Christ and all those types of things. So, but within his family, it doesn't change the fact that his daughter is going to grow up without a father. Now, maybe Eric will get remarried, et cetera, but it's still missing Charlie Kirk. But I would just remind you, and this is something that I've been reflecting on as well. And so we've talked a lot about on this podcast is just the importance of those first three years of life and how
providing for our kids love and comfort and hugs and being there for them when they fall and skin their knee and scooping them up in your arms and tucking them in and reading them bedtime stories and doing all of those things well in those first three years is what social scientists and psychologists point to therapists as sort of that crucial window, really the first six months transcend everything because that's when
the safety and security synapses and the brain, like when your brain is forming as a young child, are you, is the world a safe place? Can I be confidently who I am when I grow up? You can be if you get that when you're young, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so I've read enough about this and we've talked about it on this podcast a little bit. We've had guests talk about this. Did I at least find some comfort that he was able to get his daughter sorted to that stage, that she is set up well for life?
Perry (15:23.642)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (15:26.606)
because of Charlie being so present in her life and for the first year and a half of his son's life, giving them that they have had a good start to life. And I believe that as hard as it will be to grow up without a father figure in the home, that they at least got that good start in life. And I don't know, I find at least a little bit of comfort and I've been reflecting on that at least a little bit as I've been trying to process all of this.
Perry (15:52.73)
Yeah, that is very comforting. And another thing for me that has brought me a little comfort in the process is the fact that
Perry (16:03.075)
Although tragic and horrific and unjust, this assassination on his life has actually expanded his influence and expanded his message. And over a very short amount of time, more and more people are tuning in to what he had to say. Some of those that, you know, like myself, where he wasn't very prominent in my feed on in the social media worlds and all the things, it's very, very magnified. I don't know if you
Brett Ethridge (16:13.175)
it has.
Perry (16:33.391)
have the stats on it or whatever but I mean it was like huge significant boost in followers and views and all that stuff now not saying that was all like worth it but it is at least a little comfort to know that the things that he was passionately committed to the messages you know of truth and love and kindness that he emulated are being expanded even farther now than they were
a month ago or two months ago or you know, whatever. So that is definitely, you know, it's God taking what was intended for bad and evil and turning around and creating good out of it and,
growing and glorifying God's name and growing and glorifying God's kingdom through what was intended to be nothing other than horrific and harmful.
Brett Ethridge (17:28.366)
That's right. That's right. Yeah, well said. Well, a second thing that I wanted to touch on, a fatherhood lesson, so to speak, something that I feel like I've taken from hearing Charlie talk, watching his speeches and seeing who he was as a man and as a father and as a husband that I think we can all internalize, that I am going to strive to be better in, and that I think we can all try to emulate was
his understanding and profession that you can't be the best father without being the best husband. That actually even before he would worry about trying to figure out how to be the best father, he wanted to be the best husband he could for Erica. And Erica has talked extensively about that since the assassination, but there are plenty of their speeches on stages together before that I'm sure you guys have probably watched or can certainly seek out.
You just see their dynamic. You see that the love that they have and Erica in some of her interviews after the assassination has talked about how he never raised his voice to her. She says that he never scolded her, he never raised his voice to her, he was never mean-spirited to her at all. And I would say that as, you know, I try to follow Jesus, I love my wife, I think I'm a pretty good husband, I'm not sure I could say that.
You know, I've been married longer than Charlie has. Give Charlie a few years, right? No, no, but in all seriousness, like for for that to be the legacy that he leaves in that woman's heart, that that's who he was because he prided her. He prized her. He knew that from his relationship with his wife, everything else flows downward in his family. It's modeling what a good Christian marriage should be for his kids who are watching them. For example, we've talked about that.
Perry (18:57.123)
Right. Right.
Brett Ethridge (19:26.474)
on this podcast as well. Another thing that that Erica has said is that he would write her a love note every Saturday morning. Every Saturday she would find a note somewhere that he had written her, which I think is awesome. And if you're looking for something very just tangible, practical to implement, like what can we learn from Charlie that we can implement in our own lives and our own marriages and our own fatherhood? Start to do something like that. But he but she said at the end of every single letter that he would write her, he would he would ask, how can I serve you better? How can I serve you better?
Perry (19:47.493)
Yeah.
Perry (19:54.565)
Mm-hmm.
Brett Ethridge (19:57.758)
And man, what a, just what a, what a model to, to leave for our kids. it unlocks something in your wife as well. Like, so, so we can't be the best husband. We can't be the best father, sorry, without, without prioritizing our wives and our marriage relationship, because that provides stability that enables us to be good fathers, but it also unlocks our wives. And this is kind of the final point I would make here on this is when we are that way loving.
Perry (20:22.02)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (20:27.544)
How can I serve you better towards our wives? It unlocks them to live in the fullness of who God has created them to be and unlocks their ability to then be the best moms that they can be. And it all trickles down, right? It's all interrelated. And again, it speaks to what that man that I already talked about on social media says that the instinct from watching Charlie and his life is to say, man, I want to be a better man. I want to be a better father. And I want to be a better husband. And that's a big part of what Charlie was about.
Perry (20:56.079)
Yeah, absolutely. And that just reiterates what you were talking about in the first point of like, you were saying that kids form that sense of safety from their father, well, from their home, from the marriage. The wife has that same sense of safety and security, you know? And so the kids, the wife feels safe underneath the father, underneath the husband's leadership and headship. She feels completely safe.
feels free to be herself, feels free to make mistakes and know she's not going to get berated or belittled or humiliated or whatever. She's free in that. And that freedom that she has from the love of her husband creates the safety for her. And then the collective safety in the marriage is what overflows into the kids. And so, yeah, it's like you said, leading by example, and that's how Christ treats us. He might give us some
corrections, he might lead us into saying, hey Perry, why don't you think about doing this X, Y, or Z way? Like, let's lean over here and do that. Hey Perry, maybe you should listen a little bit before you speak, right? And so he leads us in those directions, but God is not berating me. You stupid idiot, how could you? That's not God's voice towards us. And so we model that we...
emulate what we learn from how God leads us and we lead our wives and our kids in that same way, in that same hold the level of truth, but it's truth in love and hand in hand.
Brett Ethridge (22:34.05)
Yeah. Well, let's talk about a third aspect of what I feel like we can learn from Charlie with respect to fatherhood. it's this idea of legacy. You know, as I think about, so his life is cut short. He's got a three year old and a one year old who are going to grow up without him. But man, do they have a lot of opportunity to get to know who he was. Because think about that.
Perry (22:59.514)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (23:01.62)
Hours and hours and hours of videos that he has left behind, right? So they can still get to know him. And so it just it got me thinking and I have some more thoughts on this to be sure, but it got me thinking about what what am I leaving behind? What if my life were cut short today? What would my kids have to know who I was? Now, my older kids are old enough to hopefully have some of their own memories of me, but memories fade, right?
But these are always videos that his kids are going to be able to look back on, hear his voice, hear him talk about how much he loved them on stages, whatever it is. It just got me to thinking I would ask you, Perry, like what are you leaving behind? Have you thought about that? What would your kids have to remember Perry Hughes after you're gone?
Perry (23:57.296)
That's such a great question and it's, it's an inspirationally challenging question. You know, one of the things that I've done over the years is, is keep some form of journal. Sometimes it's a prayer journal. Sometimes it's a thought journal. Sometimes it's an emotional vomit journal, you know, but it's just me writing from the heart. And I think I've probably some of my
de-hoarding stages, you know, find some of these old things and probably just throw them away. And I've recently thought like, oh man, you know, my kids like when I passed on, know, they might, somebody might find it pleasant or enjoyable to look back and read through some of these thoughts of mine and just have more exposure to what was going on in my head, what was going on in my heart during those years, during those times. Plenty of those prayer journals have
you know, days and weeks and months and years of like me writing down my kids names and praying specific things like for my kids, you know, when they were young. so I need to dig around in some of the old stacks and see if, if I did in fact, throw that away, which I would regret. but then I, we want to move forward and trying to write some of that stuff down again. And like, maybe, you know, instead of setting firearms,
in the safe and leave those to the kids in the will, which are cool, that's nice, whatever, but leave some of dad's journals. Because that's a lot more valuable of something to leave to my kids, legacy type things than any kind of valuable firearms or gold or silver or whatever that we might store up. It's like, we want to leave these things for our kids.
And then secondly, and so that one's kind of not really a success story, but the one that I feel like is more of a success story is this podcast, you know, and it's like we've put this out in the digital world and it's a digital imprint and, you know, short of some big solar flare wiping everything out, then, you know, this will probably be around for a while. I know one of my kids, Seth,
Perry (26:15.651)
really enjoys listening to the podcast. So shout out Seth. Love you, buddy. Proud of you. That's been really fun. Yeah. That's because we block his internet access. But but yes, that's cool. Like he tells me like, dad, this episode was awesome. You know, and so shout out to Seth. Seth's really done a lot of growing and maturing over the past summer. His mom and I recognize that and.
Brett Ethridge (26:21.304)
Give us a review, Seth. How come you haven't left us a review on iTunes?
Perry (26:43.695)
He's about to be 14 soon, and we're giving him a little bit more responsibilities. And it's been fun to see him grow and mature into even more of a fine young man than he already was. So I think this podcast is definitely one that fits the bill for that. And it's fun to sit here and think about how can we, you and I, Brett, as fathers, expand that legacy? Like how can we leave more for our kids? And what can we leave for our grandkids? And maybe even our great grandkids, you know?
Writing a book one day or something like that, you know, it'd be a cool be a cool thing to do
Brett Ethridge (27:17.11)
that. Yep. And I think that's just what I wanted to prompt here, isn't to give any sort of answer about what to do. I'm not suggesting you start a podcast, although you could. I'm not suggesting you start your own YouTube channel, although you certainly could. But could you just record, get out your iPhone and record a quick message to each of your kids? Send them to your wife, have them saved on a computer so that someday if your life is cut short, your wife can go show them to your kids. Hey, this is a message daddy left for you.
Perry (27:44.847)
Yeah. Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (27:46.892)
Because by the time it's ready for that to happen, it's like kind of too late. So that's something that I've been thinking about. Okay, that makes sense to do something like that. A personalized message to each of my kids. And then maybe I do it every single year as they grow and evolve and as my feelings, my experiences with them, my feelings won't change toward them, hopefully, but they'll grow and my love for them will grow. Where I've loved this past year is you have learned to drive, son.
It's so much fun seeing you have your freedom and I can trust you. I love that you're a kid I can trust and just just pour life into them maybe through a yearly video. Something that's been spinning around in the back of my mind. Writing is a big thing. You talked about your journals. I just wanted to share two quick stories on this topic as well sort of before we wrap up. And one is I received a message from my sister-in-law, my older boy's biological mom who
Perry (28:19.354)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (28:41.068)
has gotten her life together. She's given her life back to the Lord. She's doing really well. Has been has been sober for years and years and years and has now back in our kids, her kids lives, which has been great. Right. So that's God has done a lot of restoration there. And she was going through Jackson, my oldest son's room, just helping him clean it up and organize some things and stuff like that. And she found she's got I wasn't trying to snoop, but
but I found a note that you had written to Jackson, just pouring into him a little bit, affirming him. And she goes, I didn't even really read everything, but I just thank you for the fact that you cared, the fact that you were writing him a note, you know? And I don't even, I mean, I've written him a lot of notes. I don't even know necessarily which one she was talking to, but two things about that. Well, one main thing about that, Jackson kept it. Jackson kept it for whatever reason. And so,
Perry (29:20.144)
Yeah.
Perry (29:25.509)
Sure. Right.
Perry (29:32.122)
Right.
Brett Ethridge (29:36.706)
So that's something that matters, right? It might seem like a small thing, but when I am gone, assuming the house doesn't burn down and he doesn't lose that letter or decide to throw it away, he'll always have that something that I said from my heart toward and about him. He'll always have and toward that end, my father, a lot of you will know if you listen to the podcast is now dealing with dementia issues. And so my relationship with him isn't the same. He's not able to say things to me as a grown man that he was able to say to me when I was younger and his mind was still right.
But about a year ago, before my second son, my 13 year old Ben was going off to summer camp, a Christian camp, he was supposed to bring a Bible with him and he had had this old sort of Bible that had gotten destroyed that he got when he was younger and they didn't really take care of it because it was just, he didn't really understand really what, anyway, it sort of had gotten destroyed. So was like, you know what, I'm going to gift my Bible from when I was a kid to my son and I did.
But when I got it out, I had paper stuck all over that Bible. And I say I got it out as if I'm dusting off my Bible because I hadn't read it. I've transitioned to the Bible app, right? Which is another thing. I want to get back to the hard copy Bibles. But nevertheless, I sort of, opened this up and I had papers spilling out of this Bible and I started looking through them. this was something, Roman's Bible study that I did back in my youth group when I was younger. And, here's some notes I wrote about this or whatever.
And in it, I found a five page letter that my dad had written me before I went off to a summer camp one summer. And I read through that and I was reading it for the first time, essentially, because I did not remember it. I didn't even remember that he had written it to me. I didn't remember a single thing, certainly, that he would have said. And I was reading with fresh eyes and it was very impactful. It was incredibly moving. His heart for me, his pride in me.
some of the things he said about me, how excited he was for me to go off and have this experience. It just all came through the message and it was something that it was like he was speaking to me again, even though as a human on earth right now, he can't do that. He can't have those conversations with me. He was still having that with me because of that legacy that he had left behind. So it just begs the question for all of us, I think. And again, something that I'm learning from Charlie Kirk is how can we be intentional about leaving something behind for our kids?
Perry (32:02.809)
Man, I love that. What a challenging encouragement it is to think about and brainstorm. And like you said, it doesn't have to be big or major as starting a whole podcast or writing a whole book. can be something simple as leaving a note. Yeah, that's really, really cool. Well, there's one thing, excuse me. Well, there's one thing that I would love to add.
that I feel like I've learned from Charlie Kirk and it's, haven't had a lot of exposure to him, but since his assassination, I've watched a lot more of his debates on campuses and things like that. And one of the things that really struck me about his demeanor, the way he treated others, was a genuine sense of care, kindness, compassion, empathy towards this other human life.
And that was like palpable for me, you know, the way he just talks to people and he's like genuinely interested in this other person who's usually just there to debate him and debunk him and like, you know, make him look dumb or whatever, right? Or get their point across. Like the other person is just so like oftentimes me, me, me, me. Let me like tell you all this stuff. And Charlie really, I get the impression that hit his heart was like turned towards the person, you know?
and like who their heart is and what they, you know, and I really love that about him. And I think this is speculation, but I think it comes from the embodiment of this scripture that I'll pull up and read really quick. I really like to read different versions of the Bible and kind of check them out and look them back and forth and different. But this particular one is from the message and it's
Matthew 7 the first chapter. I know many of y'all many of the listeners will be familiar with this but The message reads like this do not pick on people jump on their failures criticize their faults unless of course You want the same treatment? That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own Do you have the nerve to say let me wash your face for you when your own face is distorted by contempt?
Perry (34:27.597)
It's this whole traveling road show mentality all over again, playing a holier than now part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your face and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. And to me, Charlie just like embodied that, you know, like every video I've seen of him, every clip, every debate, every it's like, man, he just like embodies that. so.
Brett Ethridge (34:42.574)
Hmm.
Perry (34:55.737)
I think we can really take that home as fathers, as husbands, as men. You see, the only way we might be fit to offer our neighbor, our wife, our child, a washcloth is if we wipe the sneer of contempt off of our face. And so when we're offended by the fact that our kids screwed it up, when we're contemptuous that our wife just can't apologize for a mistake,
When we're, you know, we're angered by these things, when we're, about them, that takes away the ability to lead someone else towards redemption or, you know, new thinking or new insight or whatever. It's only when we approach others with compassion, not contempt, that we have the ability to potentially lead them into a higher path or a higher calling or whatever.
And I don't know if you witnessed that, I certainly just feel like Charlie oozes that. He just oozed that verse. Like he emulated it. He was the embodiment.
Brett Ethridge (36:02.988)
Yeah, very well said. think you're exactly right. And if you have any sense of ability to, to read people that comes clear in, in who Charlie was and how he carried himself. And I think it goes back to something he talked about all the time and seemed very genuine in him was his own recognition that he was a sinful person, that we are born sinners, which is why we need a redeemer and which is why his faith and why his number one mission on, on earth.
wasn't to convince you to vote for Donald Trump, it was to convince you to turn your heart to Jesus because that's ultimately what matters. And it came from that innate core connection with this idea that I myself am broken. I myself have, you know, a plank in my own eye to use a different translation of that verse. So I'm not going to worry about the speck in your eye. Now, I'm going to speak truth.
Perry (36:48.827)
Yes.
Perry (36:53.605)
Yes.
Brett Ethridge (37:01.172)
about issues about that speck in your eye because I've already dealt with the plank in my own eye, perhaps. And that's sort of the final thing that I would leave harkening back to this legacy piece is and this is something I think meant that we absolutely need to carry forward in our own families and in the society around us. And when his daughter and son eventually watch some of the videos and hear what he was about and see the compassion and love that you're talking about shine through.
it's nevertheless though, this legacy of, I am willing to, to step into the lion's den for the sake of truth. I am willing to muster up the courage it takes to speak truth because truth matters. And to me, that's a legacy. And that's something that we need to stand on as well, that we cannot shrink, that we cannot shy away from.
raising our kids in a way that we point them to truth, speaking truth in our societies and our communities and confronting evil where evil exists because if nothing else, Charlie was willing to put literally his own life on the line every time he stepped into the fray because he knew it mattered. He knew speaking the gospel mattered no matter how the enemy might attack him. And then yes, speaking his truth about what he believed about politics and policies.
the unborn, things that matter. He was willing to step into the fray with compassion, but with conviction. And to me, that's a legacy that it's like, man, am I doing that? Am I doing that well? Am I doing that enough? And am I modeling that within my own family as well? Because there's a fatherhood angle to that too.
Perry (38:50.725)
Yeah, 100%.
Brett Ethridge (38:53.43)
Well, with that, think that we'll wrap things up. Those are sort of the main points that I wanted to make and have been reflecting on. Anything else, Perry? Any final thoughts or reflections before we wrap up this episode?
Perry (39:05.765)
Yeah, I just want encourage you and myself and all the listeners to continue to pray for Charlie's family, know, pray for his wife, his kids, pray for his team. You know, he had a team around him to make all this success happen. He wasn't just a, you know, a lone guy out there doing everything. He's got a team of people around him. So just continue to lift them up in prayer. And then I would encourage us all to continue to pray that
darkness will be unveiled, truth will be revealed, and that God's kingdom will continue to expand. You know, that's just a daily prayer that we as believers can be engaging in all the time.
Brett Ethridge (39:51.904)
Amen. Well, with that, will wrap up this episode. think it's actually been pretty cathartic. It's good to talk about things. I think it's been a heavy thing for a lot of people. It's good to talk about things and it was fun for me to just share some thoughts and talk about Charlie. I'm sure he would have enjoyed that. And just to set our mind to being better. That's ultimately what it's about. So men, go out there, be better. Be better fathers, be better husbands, be a better child of...
of God, children of God, because that's our number one calling as well. Thank you for listening. Seth, go leave us a positive review, write a nice review for us, and we will see you again or talk with you again on the next episode of the Faithful Fatherhood podcast. Take care, everyone.
Perry (40:38.3)
Good stuff.
Brett Ethridge (40:39.33)
Awesome. Yep.
