Brett Ethridge (00:02.766)
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Jesus.
Perry (00:11.644)
Amen.
Brett Ethridge (00:14.766)
Hello and welcome to the Faithful Fatherhood podcast. I'm Brett Etheridge. It is good to be back with you guys. I'm joined as always by Perry Hughes. Perry, how are you this morning?
Perry (00:24.711)
I am doing great, brother. I am a little bit rested in my spirit and a lot of bit sore in my muscles. So those are kind of two conflicting feelings.
Brett Ethridge (00:36.43)
Two very conflicting feelings. I want to talk about the rest in your spirit piece of things We're actually going to table that part of the discussion until the end. So here's what we want to do today It's been a while since we've been in your feed. Summers get busy. Perry travels with his family to the coast He'll talk about that. Our summer has been crazy. It's just harder to stay in the rhythm It just is in terms of regular recording So we apologize for that, but we did want to get together share some stories connect with you guys It has been too long and I do want to talk about
rest and share some things that I think will be applicable whenever you're listening to this episode. So we're going to talk a little bit about the summer to be sure, but whenever you have found this episode, make sure to listen all the way through because I think we're going to talk about some things that are just really important and really relevant in any season of life that we happen to be in. But all of that said, we did just want to, again, share some stories and catch up a little bit. I haven't even talked to Perry for a while. And so, yeah, let's just dive in, man. How has your summer been?
Perry (01:36.679)
It's been great. typically, for the listeners that may not know this, we typically, as a family, head to the coast of South Carolina for the bulk of the summer. My in-laws have a place there and we kind of live that water life. We fish and surf and have fun in the neighborhood and, you know, all the types of things. So that's been really cool. We've been doing that for the last, you know, probably decade or so.
But this year is a little bit different because JP, my oldest son and I have started a fishing charter business or a charter fishing business. And that has been going gangbusters. I wasn't really sure what it would be like. I didn't know if we would have, you know, one trip or a bunch. And it's been a bunch and we're having a ton of fun. So that's been really cool.
Brett Ethridge (02:25.582)
Well, and if you wouldn't mind sharing, and I'm just curious about this as well, you had thought you were going to do a fishing charter business last summer. It didn't really take off. Was this God's timing this summer? What changed? You know, just talk about that dynamic of it a little bit.
Perry (02:42.844)
Sure, yeah, there's a scripture in Proverbs that says, roll the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall. And I love that scripture. There's another one also that says, the horse is made ready for battle, but the Lord determines the victor. And so both of those scriptures to me indicate that we have a role to play, but ultimately it's in God's hands, you know? And so I think that we need to step up and rise to our role and be active and lean into that.
And at the same time recognize that God's sovereign and his timing is perfect. And so I think this is one of those things where God's timing is perfect. And I don't really know why necessarily yet. I'm not sure why last summer wasn't the summer for us to start, but it wasn't. And I did all my legwork, my studying, the testing part of getting a captain's license in February of 2024.
thinking that that would be plenty of time to turn my credentials into the government and then receive my credentials and have my captain's license by summer. I didn't get my captain's license until September of 24. And so can't run charters without, well, you can, but I'm not going to run charters without the right licensing documentation.
So last summer was just one of those things where it was a, it was a delayed acquisition of the proper licensing through, you know, some of it through the forums, not being exactly perfect, but part of it was just the delay of the government, you know, how that goes. They'd send me something with like a red flag and I'd send it back and they'd send me something else. wouldn't, they didn't accept my CPR cert, which was like through Red Crop. I mean, it's like through the main CPR sort of, and they were like, no, that one does count. So then I had to.
You know, it just all these things and it wound up what I thought was going to be like a 60 day process turned out to be, you know, like four or five months of getting it done. So that's the long winded answer of why we didn't do it last year. And here we are this year and I wasn't really sure what it was going to be like. And it's been really fun. It's been great.
Brett Ethridge (04:57.612)
And JP has been fully involved. Talk about that dynamic, right? mean, so would you count it as a fatherhood win? Has it been fun working with him? How has he stepped into leadership? Because I know he's a big part of what you guys are doing this summer.
Perry (05:12.807)
Yeah, absolutely. He is the whole reason we're doing it this summer. I like to fish. It's okay. It's definitely not one of my passions. I mean, it's not my strong passion in life. I enjoy it, but it's, it's one of JP's major passions. It's one of his major giftednesses and skill sets. And he's also a good instructor. and so as he's getting, you know, later in his teenage years, he saw 17 and you know, some change this year. we thought let's.
Let's do a little ice cream sample. Let's kind of check this out and see if you like it and lean into it. So yeah, we're leaning into it. He, I'm the captain. He's the first mate. When people come on board, you know, introduce us as that way. And then I quickly say, Hey, by the way, JP is the actual fishing expert. You know, I'm his dad. I'm the captain. He's the first mate. But when you have questions about fishing, ask him first. I know enough to help you. You know, I'm, better than the
than the average beginner fisherman. I know enough to put people on the right track, but JP really is the pro. I mean, he's been out fishing me since he was like two years old. And it used to bother me, but now I love it and I embrace it and I try to lift him up. So yeah, he's excited about it. We ran more charters in the first week than I thought maybe we would do the whole summer.
So at this point in the game, yeah, at this point in the game, we've done 20 charters already. And I thought, you know, maybe we would do three for the whole summer. and it's been cool. It's been a learning experience. but JP is very active. He's teaching people how to fish. He's teaching them about fish. He's helping them with technique. He's helping them with strategy. He's helping them untangle their lines when they get all mixed up, you know, so we're kind of running around the boat for some charters more than others just, you know,
Brett Ethridge (06:36.078)
That's awesome.
Perry (07:04.445)
working like dogs, helping beginner anglers. And some people have a lot, maybe they have some experience fishing in freshwater, but they've never done saltwater before. So they know their way around a rod, but they don't necessarily know the species and know what bait to use and all that kind of stuff. So it's been fun to see him thrive in his giftedness. It's like a joy for me as a father to see him lean into that and do it well.
and then also it's been a fun teachable experience too, because of course, with us being in a new business, we're going to make some mistakes. And so we take the time to reflect and debrief and look at, okay, what could, what didn't go perfectly? What could we do better? And so we kind of do those debrief sessions and watch him grow in that area too, which has been really fun.
Brett Ethridge (07:55.374)
Yeah. Has he still been talking about making a career of this or is it a fun summer thing for him?
Perry (08:03.869)
Yeah. So he's definitely interested in, in trying it for the next few summers and kind of reevaluating as we go to say, okay, is this a career path? Is it, you know, not so I think JP is really wise beyond his years. I'm so proud of him and, his, his kind of perfect case scenario as it stands right now is he wants to live with us for a couple more years. And this fall he's going to.
apprentice under a welder and, and learn the trade of welding. he's got the coaching gymnastics, coaching ninja skill set, under his belt. He's going to pick up welding. And so he kind of feels like he's going to, after he gets done with high school work, he wants to kind of lean into those three professions and just live with us for a couple of years, make some money, build up a little nest egg so that he can be ready to.
get out into the world on his own. So I think it's really cool. I'm proud of him. You know, he sees the wisdom in having a few different skill sets that would enable him to, you know, create revenue and make money in that way, which is cool. So yeah, but he's really enjoying it. I wasn't sure if he would love it as getting, you know, as for hire, getting paid for it, cause it's just his personal passion, but he really does. And he does great with the customers and it's cool to see.
Brett Ethridge (09:27.928)
Yeah, sometimes those things don't mix. Sometimes once you're doing it more than just for fun and enjoyment and your hobby, yeah, it just becomes a little bit too much and it loses its luster. It's not everything that you thought it would be making a living doing it. I wonder if professional athletes wrestle with that. I know some do for sure. It's like, hey, I love playing golf, but all of sudden when you're in the grind, the weekly tour schedule, playing golf every day,
Perry (09:30.344)
right.
Brett Ethridge (09:57.09)
You know, for us, we sit back and we're like, man, that's the life. I would kill to play golf every day. But when it becomes a job and a business and your, you know, your appearances and all those types of things, I do wonder if it loses its luster a little bit. Scotty Scheffler. I don't know why I went down this rabbit hole, but maybe it's because I just watched an interview with Scotty Scheffler, the number one golfer in the world, and he's over in the UK right now.
Perry (10:00.402)
Right.
Brett Ethridge (10:23.682)
The open they call it the open the British open was what a lot of people know it by is about to kick off and he gave this really profound interview that you guys can probably go find on YouTube if you're interested he he loves the Lord and stuff and he just talks about how how empty it is to to win tournaments and be number one in the world and how your fulfillment can't be in that and He loves he loves competing. He loves he loves winning and he said in at last for about like two minutes, you know because it's not and and all the reporters were just like
Perry (10:39.743)
Hmm
Perry (10:49.951)
Ha ha ha, yeah.
Brett Ethridge (10:53.53)
They've never heard anybody talk like that. Like, what do you mean? Because we always assume that, you're winning major tournaments. You're making millions and millions of dollars. isn't that the life? And he goes, no, mean, just kind of, you you get to number one in the world and you're kind of like, what's the point? You know, I mean, that's essentially what he talks about for about five minutes in this interview. It's a really good interview, but it's refreshing to hear people talk that way a little bit. And so all of that to say, think
Perry (10:55.369)
Right.
Perry (11:09.054)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (11:20.812)
I think people who have a deep sense of what life is all about recognize that he still seems to have he still finds joy in the process. He loves playing golf. If he's not on tour, he just goes out and plays golf with his friends for fun. Like that's what he does on a random Wednesday when he's not playing in a golf tournament because he likes to play golf. So for him, at least it doesn't seem to have dampened his enthusiasm for what he loves to do. But Andre Agassi famously
didn't really like tennis. He just sort of made it a career. He liked it when he was a junior. But then once it became a career, just sort of, he just kind of did what he had to. He was just really talented. He put in the work and he won lots of money and won lots of tournaments, but he just said he sort of hated tennis as a career. So I think it could definitely go both ways for JP. So I'm glad to hear that he's really enjoying it.
Perry (11:51.519)
Uh-huh.
Perry (12:02.995)
Wow. Wow, that's wild. Sure.
Perry (12:11.517)
Yeah, he is. And it's cool. A few things to follow up on that. One, we started out in the beginning of the summer being open for business seven days a week, two charters a day. We just kind of let the customer call the shot because we didn't know what it was going to be like. And then we went gangbusters for like three weeks and we just were, our heads were spinning. We're like, this is too much. We called an audible timeout, had a business meeting, me, Nancy, JP, and it was great. We sat down and said, Hey, what are we doing? Is this something you want to
pursue, know, are you, you, are you like, no red flag, I'm out all that. And we decided that, yes, he wants to pursue it, but we're not going to be open for business seven days a week, two charters a day. So we scaled it down. We're only open three days a week and we're only going to run one charter a day. That's it. Because, you know, we go down to the beach for some rejuvenation time, some family time, some, you know, time of rest and
If JP and I are just doing charters all the time, then we don't necessarily get that same experience that our family has come to really love and long for and enjoy as we're at the coast together out in God's creation, kind of recharged really for the summer. And so, yeah, we kind of called that audible and changed it up and moving forwards for the rest of the summer. We're only going to book three days a week at the max.
And then I sat down with JP, we were riding in the truck yesterday and I said, Hey man, you still want to do three days a week or are you going to bump it up to four? You know, you make a little bit more money if we do four. And, um, you know, he kind of was trying to pick my brain to see what I wanted to do. And I said, look, dude, I, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. want, you know, I want you to decide. And he goes, well, let's just do three because if we book four, then that's one less day that I can fish personally. You know, it blocks me out of, it blocks me out of fishing offshore.
Brett Ethridge (14:01.462)
fun.
Perry (14:04.691)
Because we just do inshore trips with our customers. We're not running out into the ocean. We're just staying in the creeks and near, you know, near right near the edge of the ocean. But, but JP loves to go offshore and fish for bigger fish and have a bigger adventure and all that. And he's like, yeah, dad, I don't want to, I don't want to lose another day opportunity to go offshore. So I think that speaks to his still having that passion for it. mean, I know we're only a few weeks in. but yeah, so that's really cool. Yeah. Really cool.
Brett Ethridge (14:34.486)
That's a really good, I mean, just what a powerful lesson to learn at an early age. think it's something that in our 40s, a lot of men just don't, we don't have that yet. We're driven, we go, it's, want more. You know, if I take a day off, I'm sacrificing more money I could be making building the empire. Chick-fil-A, why are they closed Sunday? Think about how much money they can make if they're open on Sundays. It's like, that's the mindset for a lot of people. But if you can already at age 17,
Perry (14:58.313)
Sure.
Brett Ethridge (15:00.832)
Understand the yin and yang and the balance and yeah, okay. I'll sacrifice a little bit more money But here's what I get in return and I am intentionally choosing lifestyle over pure financial gain That'll that'll serve him really well in his life That's awesome and kudos to you for helping to guide and steer those conversations and and that thought process already
Perry (15:22.195)
Thanks, brother. I appreciate that. And it's very encouraging to see the maturity level that he has at the age that he is. And then a cool thing too that I want to mention, and you know, the Lord is not this vending machine. You know, sometimes I think, at least for me personally in my prayer life, sometimes as I look back over the years and reflect,
Brett Ethridge (15:23.725)
Yeah.
Perry (15:46.343)
It's almost as like, you know, just treat the Lord like this big giant vending machine. Lord bring me this, let this, you know. And it's not necessarily material things. It might be, you know, a happy marriage or, you know, whatever it is, work, work that I love, you know, the right, like, so we just kind of are in that space, but the Lord prompted me before we started running any trips to start the charter trip with our customers, with a prayer.
Brett Ethridge (15:59.49)
Yeah, we're asking, asking, asking.
Perry (16:16.413)
in beginning. And honestly guys, I kind of rationalized my way out of that the first week. Well, I'm going to offend somebody or you know, I don't know what anybody's spiritual perspective is. I don't know what their beliefs are, know, whatever, whatever. And the first week, man, we...
It was rough week. we, it was just calamity. Nothing like, you know, no kids died or anything. Like, you know, we didn't like, you know, nobody got bitten by a shark or something. Right. But it was just like all these little, all these little chaoses, all these little calamities, all these little mess ups, all these little mistakes were happening all week the first week. And at the end of the first week, I, I reminded JP, I was like, man, we've been doing this gymnastics business for 20 plus years and it's a pretty well machine. We still.
are learning, we're still growing, we're still improving as a business. But for the most part, we've learned a lot of our lessons and like we're like chugging along, like running. And so we're starting a brand new business. You know, we know people, we know business, we know fishing, but we don't know blending all those things together. We've never done that before. And so we're gonna have some failures. We're gonna screw this up. Like we're gonna have to learn some things the hard way. And that's part of the process. And which was a really cool teachable moment as well.
But as we were having that debrief and that discussion, the Holy Spirit reminded me that I was instructed to pray at the beginning of these trips and I wasn't doing that. And so week two, I'm like, you know what? I would rather offend some human being than disobey the Spirit. Right? I had my priorities wrong when I was worried about hurting somebody's feelings or worried about offending them or whatever versus not doing what I felt like the Lord was leading me to do.
Man, that's a flipped upside down priority. So I realized, okay, somebody gets offended, so be it. I'm not gonna, I'm not out here trying to intentionally offend somebody. So anyway, we started praying before all the trips. And man, it made all the difference in the world. And it's not like we all of a sudden are perfect. It's not like all of a sudden we're catching all the fish, you know. It wasn't like I'd throw the net on that side of the boat moment and here we are just, you know, swamping the boat, you know. But.
Brett Ethridge (18:22.115)
Hmm.
Perry (18:34.641)
It was a drastic difference in the tone of our trips, in the experiences of our trips. And it was cool because a lot of the customers are believers. They are followers of Christ. And then I'm like, hey, we like to start as a prayer. And then you find out the people that are really in love with Jesus. They're like, yeah, sweet. And then it kind of sparks this conversation towards the spiritual world.
and we start talking about Christ as we're out on the trips easier. It opens the door for those conversations. And then all of a sudden we realize, hey, this isn't really about fishing.
Brett Ethridge (19:09.878)
Yeah, that's cool.
Perry (19:11.197)
You know, and I prayed one day, I was like, Hey Lord, please don't let us think that we're out here because of fishing for fish in the sea. You know, this is like not what this is about. Like this is about your kingdom. It's about connecting with other humans and being salt and light and finding out about people's lives and praying for them. And, know, all the things, right? Like this is about kingdom stuff. It's not just about going on a boat, catching fish. And so that has been a very cool mindset shift.
shift from being in disobedience to obedience. And we did have one guy that was a little bit offended by it. And that was interesting. And I learned from that too, which was cool. You know, I said...
Brett Ethridge (19:52.13)
What did you learn there and how was he because in my experience? I I probably haven't been as bold as I should have been at various times in my life But when I feel prompted In certain situations, I'll just ask people hey, do you mind if I just pray for you real quick, right? If I'm out and about I'm having a conversation with somebody somebody's going through something hard and heavy and I'll just Hey, can I pray for you? And I've never had anybody say no and I've never had anybody really push back and I guarantee not all of them are believers It's crazy. It's like
People who aren't believers, they're like, yeah, I'll still take some prayer. You know what I'm saying? So so that's sort of been my experience but I have had one experience in business where somebody sort of got offended by Christian music and some things that's separate story. So I'm very curious to hear how this went. So what what do you think sort of triggered? Did he just push back against praying in general? Do you ask hey, do you mind if we start off this trip with a prayer or you just say hey, we're starting off this trip with a prayer and he sort of got weird. Tell me about that.
Perry (20:25.149)
Yeah, right, right.
Perry (20:34.833)
Mm-hmm. Well, yeah.
Perry (20:51.005)
Yeah, so that was the learning experiences. I'm like, hey, this is what we do. Boom. And he goes...
Brett Ethridge (20:57.735)
yeah, the big sigh, okay,
Perry (21:00.103)
And I kind of looked at him and he goes, yeah, pray. And so I'm like, okay, I'm gonna keep this one really short. And I'm like, just trying to be real fast and precise on the prayer. then I wasn't done yet and I paused for just a second and he goes, amen. Yeah, he took my little slight pause. I was like breathing and he goes, amen. And I'm like, all right, amen.
Brett Ethridge (21:18.466)
He's like, okay, we're done.
Perry (21:28.617)
So that was kind of funny, but the Lord used that to teach me about who God is, about part of His character trait. And the Lord is not pushy. He doesn't force Himself on anyone. And I realized that by not asking permission from our guests, from our clients, hey, would you mind if we prayed? Hey, would it be okay with y'all if we just start this day off with a prayer? I'm just saying, this is what we're doing. And that's not God's style.
And so I was misaligned with God's style and I was kind of doing the Perry Hughes style of this is what we're going to do. And I was bulldozing people into prayer. And that's not how God operates. He invites. He doesn't push into. And so then, of course, I started asking people's permission and see if it's OK. Hey, guys, would it be OK with you all if we start the trip with a little prayer?
That's something we like to do as long as it's okay with everybody. Is anybody opposed to that? And then that's whole different feeling then. Because this guy's just on a boat with some people he just met. He felt trapped and backed in a corner. He probably had some bad experience with some religious activity or some overzealous, well-intentioned person where he's just feeling cornered and trapped. And here he is on a boat. This guy's like, we're gonna pray. It's like...
Brett Ethridge (22:44.866)
Yeah, I'm sure.
Perry (22:55.367)
So that was a good learning experience.
Brett Ethridge (22:57.134)
That's good insight. That's really good insight. Has JP felt the shift too? I mean you talk about how after week number one everything changed, everything shifted. He's recognized that as well?
Perry (23:08.019)
Big time, yeah, big time, big time. And I think his heart is in the place too of like, hey, we're out here doing the Lord's work and we just kind of get to do it through fishing. And we've always run our gymnastics business that way. People pay us to teach them cartwheels but they kind of get Jesus snuck in there. It's like, we're like, you guys pay, yeah. That's right.
Brett Ethridge (23:31.468)
That's it man. We're just we're on mission in our lives and you know, we don't want like you said I like what you said we don't we won't don't want to bull those people but we don't want to be hide behind it We are called to be different We're called to be set apart and if people don't see us as any different in the world than anybody else and wouldn't even know that we're we're Christians or followers of Jesus like what are we doing sort of so Yeah, good for you guys that I'm reminded of a story as you're talking about this and I'm not necessarily suggesting and I don't think you are either
that there, well, I think we are suggesting that there's absolute power in prayer, that there's absolute power to the obedience of what God has called us to, to be sure. But as you suggested, it's not necessarily that, because I just prayed, the ship is going to be overflowing with fish, although sometimes there is something there. All of that to preface this story, I remember years ago, my brother-in-law and he brought a friend with him, came out.
Perry (24:12.413)
Yes. Yes.
Brett Ethridge (24:29.41)
to stay with us in Colorado when we went skiing. And we always pray before big trips. Certainly when we get in the car, we just pray for protection and we'd just pray over the trip and time together and all of those types of things. We should probably do it when we're going to the grocery store. But we do it on quote unquote big trips. And for us, we viewed going up into the mountains to ski as a big trip, even though it might've only been an hour drive or whatever. So we'd always get in the car, we'd pray, be with us, protect us, whatever, go up, go skiing, have a good day. So we did that for the first...
Perry (24:43.838)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (24:59.118)
four or five days of the trip. They were there for an entire week. On the last day of the trip, we went up there, we're having a good day. And my brother-in-law ended up falling, having a pretty bad accident, got a concussion, had to be taken basically to the hospital. We ended up cutting the trip short. He's all bruised up. Yeah, it was rough. There were some really cool things about that though, in terms of the way it of got orchestrated, who was wearing helmets and not. It was sort of before everybody wore helmets and...
Perry (25:16.873)
Dang.
Perry (25:26.59)
Right.
Brett Ethridge (25:27.562)
Anyway, he happened to be wearing a helmet, only because his friend, don't know. Anyway, we were all sharing helmets and he happened to be wearing it. So it was really cool thing there. But I remember on the way back or we were sitting around at dinner that night and his friend sort of leaned into me. He you know what I was just realizing? Today was the only day we didn't pray on the way up to go skiing.
Perry (25:49.587)
Dang!
Brett Ethridge (25:51.458)
And was like, I didn't even realize that. didn't even think about that. again, am I suggesting that because we didn't pray, you know?
Perry (25:54.334)
Yeah.
Perry (25:58.749)
Right. The Lord struck him down. No, that's not right.
Brett Ethridge (26:01.218)
But but like but that is that's just a coincidence is it not a coincidence so that's that's really cool. That's really cool. So I love what you guys are Yeah
Perry (26:07.869)
Yeah, yeah. Thanks. It's been a big adventure. It's been a lot of fun. I have really enjoyed being out in God's creation every day. And just like we're on the water as the sun is coming up, you know, and it's man, it's just, it's been a good time of communing with the Lord through the just the peace and the beauty of His creation. It just speaks to me.
And it's been a really good time of, like working together with my son, you know, like that's cool. Like you do things with your kids, you go on vacations, you have fun, you know, you know, but like, it's it's kind of a different camaraderie. It's like a different experience when you're like, you know, doing some work together and that might be, you know, building a deck on the backyard or building a tree house, or it might be.
Brett Ethridge (26:43.694)
Yeah, I like that.
Perry (27:04.989)
you know, whatever it is, working in your business or, you know, but that's been kind of a cool thing too that I've really enjoyed with him. So.
Brett Ethridge (27:10.638)
Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, what a cool experience. I love that. So, well, I have a few stories I want to share for my summer and then I want to talk about rest. Any final stories? Anything else that's on your heart to share? Any fatherhood wins before you transition a little bit?
Perry (27:15.443)
Yeah. Good. Yes.
Perry (27:27.535)
yeah, I mean, that's, think we hit most of them from, from the chartering experience. Liam and I have been having a lot of fun surfing together. We haven't gone as much. The waves hasn't been as good. but we have definitely spent some early mornings on the days that we were not running charters. Liam and I will get up and, and go hit the waves and surf. And that's definitely been a fatherhood win because, surfing is more of a passion for me than fishing is.
and it's definitely a big passion of Liam's. And so it's fun to be out doing that together. And that's been a cool thing too. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm excited to hear about your summer stories and some things that have been happening in y'all's world. Break us off with that. What's been going on.
Brett Ethridge (28:04.558)
Very cool.
Brett Ethridge (28:13.802)
You know, our summers aren't nearly as glamorous as it sounds like yours are. I'm sure a lot of listeners are like, my gosh, going to the coast for an entire summer, that would be like the dream. And a lot of us, you know, and a lot of people out there are just grinding, man. We're just grinding in our jobs and working the nine to five and taking care of the family and all of those types of things. And that's
Perry (28:28.905)
Sure, absolutely.
Brett Ethridge (28:36.238)
certainly not to detract at all. I you've built an incredible lifestyle through the way you've intentionally built a gymnastics business that has a lot of leverage and a lot of freedom. And I think there's a lot we can all learn from that. So kudos to you and well done on that. But just thinking about other people who might have their two weeks of vacation a year and stuff and you get to go off. And so we're just, and I am an entrepreneur as everybody knows. And so I have a lot of freedom and flexibility in my work as well. But we're just sort of here and we're...
Perry (28:45.545)
Thank you.
Perry (28:51.561)
Sure.
Brett Ethridge (29:03.842)
We're doing normal things and we're trying to carve out time to, let's go to the parks and let's go to the splash pads and let's do some of that. so it's a lot of that. But we did just get back from a week at the beach. So we did go to the coast for an entire week. And I'll talk about that a little bit when we talk about rest. But that was fun. It was a good getaway. was a good time as a family to go spend some time together at the ocean and have some vacation time.
Perry (29:07.154)
Yes.
Brett Ethridge (29:31.8)
together but but I just want to talk about a couple of really cool moments though this summer where the Lord has really showed up and and I would say a lot of our intentionality for this summer has been trying to think of how to word this around our 13 year old in particular who we are trying to set up for success and he
He's been struggling in various areas. and, we just really have been unbelievably prayerful that this would be a summer that God just really gets a hold of his heart and helps move him into the direction and the calling that we know that God has on his life. And so I'll just sort of, I'll sort of leave it there.
Perry (30:07.582)
Hmm.
Perry (30:18.355)
Yes.
Brett Ethridge (30:23.042)
But we have been very intentional in then trying to structure a summer to allow that to happen, to put him in positions where God is going to show up. And toward that end, we signed him up for back-to-back Christian overnight camps. one of them is a camp that he has gone to every summer for the past several years, and he loves it. It's just an unbelievable fun camp. It's a traditional camp, you know, like...
Perry (30:43.412)
Mm-hmm.
Brett Ethridge (30:49.11)
all the activities, the archery and the boating and the blobs and the lake and all that type of stuff. And he just loves it, you know, sleeping in the cabins and having the experiences and the counselors and the s'mores and the whole thing. So he just loves that. So he went to that one. Then we immediately followed up by signing him up for another week, another week of overnight camp. That's also a Christian camp. Then we had the week at the beach. And then now as we're recording this, he's on a mission trip with, with the church. And then next week he's going to another
Perry (30:50.196)
Mm-hmm.
Perry (31:13.096)
Wow.
Brett Ethridge (31:16.366)
Christian camp through the church of his biological mother who he's sort of having a restored relationship, which is cool. That's a good thing. Well, we could talk about that on another episode. And so the bottom line is he's like back to back to back to back to exposures to hopefully some things of God, some ability for him just to connect, to connect and have relationships with other people pouring into him and being in environments where hopefully God's going to show up in all of that. So that was
sort of our mindset and intentionality going into the summer. And so the kickoff of all of that was that very first camp. And he goes to the camp, there's not a whole lot of communication during the week, obviously no cell phones or anything like that. So he gets home on the Friday after the camp, he goes back to my mom's house in Raleigh, he was staying with her just sort of one night so I didn't have to drive and pick him up. But anyway, calls and debriefs and all of this. he's...
He's got an excitement in his voice and he's telling me all these stories and we did this and there was this and the counselor did this and you know, we were probably talking for like 30 minutes and, even that was pretty cool, right? Because he's a 13 year old teenager. doesn't do a lot of that type of talking with me anyway, on a normal day to day basis. So the fact that he's opening up and telling me stories, I'm just sitting there soaking it in, enjoying hearing him talk and have enthusiasm and excitement in his voice as he's talking about camp and stuff. And then, and then sort of almost in passing,
He slips it in, he's like, oh yeah, and I rededicated my life to the Lord. And then he kind of goes on. And I was like, whoa, hold on, buddy. I was like, hold on, buddy. You just sort of buried the lead here. Tell me about that. So he just told me about this really cool Wednesday night experience where his sort of best friend who had.
Perry (32:42.047)
That's awesome! What? What did you just say? Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (33:01.868)
His best friend at camp a kid the one kid who was back from the previous year that was one of his close friends from the previous year just happened to be there as well and he's like yeah this kid He started by telling me about this kid. He's like this kid Wasn't really sure what he believed, you know He came to the camp but he's doesn't doesn't really know what he thinks or believes and isn't really committed to the Lord and stuff like that He was had this really cool experience that Wednesday night With God showing up in the lightning, know, basically praying Lord if you you know, if you're real if you want if you want to show me yourself, you know
Perry (33:26.622)
Hmm
Perry (33:33.811)
Yeah, that's awesome.
Brett Ethridge (33:35.678)
It's like, that's pretty cool. his, so his, his friend gave his life to the Lord that night. And then, and then Ben had an experience where he had an opportunity to say the same thing in the lightning. And anyways, it's sort of a, long, cool story that that's probably not mine to share, but, but, but it all happened. And he said, you know, everybody there, he's like, people are just giving their lives to the Lord left and right.
at this Wednesday night worship service at this camp. was like heaven came down. It was really powerful. I felt it. I felt the Holy Spirit, dad. And I rededicated my life to the Lord. so that was, that was really cool. and that was on week one. So, you know, we'll see what else God has in store for the rest of his summer, but, pretty excited about that.
Perry (33:57.673)
Hmm.
Perry (34:02.291)
That's awesome. man.
Perry (34:13.789)
Wow, that brings me so much joy. I'm so happy and excited about that. That's awesome.
Brett Ethridge (34:19.202)
Yeah. So everybody listen to this. can keep praying for the rest of Ben's summer. And the other cool thing then was my son Declan, has been, so he's the six year old. He has been asking for a while now to be baptized. And I'm not even sure where that has come from. Maybe they were talking about it a little bit in his Sunday school. We don't really call it Sunday school, but at church and things like that. And our church doesn't even
It's just not like there was a big, we're going to do a church wide baptism coming up. Let us know if you want to do it. He's just been asking. And so that's really cool. We've been talking to him about, why and why he wants that and what he thinks and what he's believing even at age six. And, know, he's saying all the right things. He really does. He has a really soft, genuine heart for the Lord. You know, we'll be driving down the, the right.
Perry (34:57.182)
Yeah.
Perry (35:10.905)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (35:13.804)
Yesterday we were driving driving home from somewhere and I started singing whatever song came on the radio. He goes dad If it's not a Christian song, you shouldn't be singing it Okay, buddy like I We're not raising him and we're not raising him in a legalistic Christian home. Believe me I like I don't know where this is coming from but it was it was still pretty funny But that's just sort of who he is He's just always had a heart for the Lord even from the earliest age to to when he's known about God and who God is
Perry (35:21.951)
Yeah, did you tell him beat? Yeah. Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (35:43.054)
So anyway, fast forward to the beach and he asked to be baptized at the beach. And so we, we just got back from the beach, but, um, but yeah, he, he, he asked to do that. And so I did it. I officiated a small little ceremony and, baptized him at the pool at the beach. And so we were going to do it in the ocean. And then he sort of got scared of the ocean. was in, you know, a age six, some six year olds love it. He loved it last year. This year, he was a little scared of, of the ocean and the waves and all that type of stuff. So it didn't really work to take him out into the.
Perry (35:54.569)
That's awesome.
Perry (36:06.953)
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (36:11.712)
into the depths to be able to baptize him there. So we did that swimming pool and it was just a really cool experience to see his heart first of all and then second of all to be the one to be able to officiate that and do that for my son. That was really, really fun and a cool experience.
Perry (36:24.191)
That is incredible. Incredible. Yeah. Huge. That's a huge summer. You're talking about it not being as glamorous as mine, but from a kingdom perspective, I would say yours has way more bling, You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Like literally life-changing pivotal moments in the lives of your kids. That's so cool.
Brett Ethridge (36:34.807)
That's right.
They are. It's meaningful stuff. It's the important stuff, right? It's a summer we'll always remember. anyway.
Brett Ethridge (36:52.014)
Yeah. Yeah. Amen. So excited about that. Well, let's transition. I'd mentioned a third story, but I'll save that story for later. Let's transition and talk though a little bit about rest. I think we might come at it from slightly different perspectives because I think you and I have handled rest differently this summer, you better than I. And here's sort of what I wanted to.
just sort of kick this off and talk about and encourage people in. You know, I was actually talking with a client just yesterday as well and just sort of an update on his timing for getting started in a business. he was talking about how the school year is about to start. He's a football coach and he was saying, yeah, know, once football season starts, I'm just in it. Time gets busy. I don't really have time to do much of anything else. So.
we might have to put some things on the back burner until the new year. I said, that's fine, that makes sense. But he said, school starts next week. Now, at the time of this recording, it's pretty much mid July and he lives in Georgia and their school starts next week, like the third week of July. And he said, and it will feel like tomorrow. And I know it's another whole week, but it will feel like.
tomorrow that school is starting, things ramp up and I'm just fully in it. And I just thought to myself, my gosh, has is the summer almost over? it? Because we actually start really early in Tennessee as well. We only have a couple of weeks really before our kids go back to school. And summer is coming to an end for a lot of us. If you're listening to it at the time of this recording, but even if not.
Time passes, time passes quickly and things ramp back up and things get serious. And now it's back to school and work things. And all of a sudden, the summer that you thought you had is sort of gone and your opportunities for adventure and fun and rest are gone for that season. Are we taking advantage of those? And so that was sort of my thought process. And I specifically thought about this idea of rest and how
Perry (38:54.226)
Hmm.
Brett Ethridge (39:09.198)
Summer is supposed to be a little bit of a time of rejuvenation and refreshing and it sounds like you have gotten to do some of that and I have done absolutely none of that. None. In fact, I just got back from a week at the beach where I didn't rest at all. mean, it's supposed to be my vacation and it is no vacation. Now, part of that for anybody who's ever gone on quote vacation with a two year old and a six year old. I got my teenagers who are a little bit more self-sufficient, but
Perry (39:23.592)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (39:36.756)
It's daddy, can we go to the pool? Daddy, can we go down to the ocean? I'm cleaning a two year old up from all the sand because when a two year old plays in the sand, it's everywhere. And I'm the one carrying him and schlepping him back and forth and back and forth. And and you're tired and you're exhausted. And I'm getting up early to try to do a little bit of work. I know you're not supposed to bring work with you to the beach, but I'm starting and launching a new business. And so, you know, I'm doing some work before my kids get up and. And there's just no rest, there was none.
You come home. came home more tired at the end of a week of vacation than I left for the week of vacation. And then I still hit the ground running back at home doing all the chores that needed to be done and mowing the lawns and all those types of things. So this isn't a woe is me. This is a me admitting that I have done a terrible job this summer of injecting any sort of rest and rejuvenation and refreshing into my summer and realizing that if I don't do it now,
Perry (40:05.49)
Hmm.
Perry (40:14.588)
Yeah. Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (40:34.732)
It's not going to get any better three weeks from now. One of my kids are back at school and everything really does ramp back up. So, and by the way, I don't think I'm alone. read a statistic recently that 62 % of Americans leave unused vacation time at the end of the year. Right? So everybody gets there, you know, two weeks of vacation or whatever it is. And most people don't even use their vacation time, let alone actually resting when you're on vacation. And so I think it's a problem. I think it's.
Perhaps an American mindset, you we've certainly heard that Europe does things differently and they take months off and maybe they do it right and they have four day work weeks. And so, you know, there, there are different ways of structuring it. I'm not having that conversation here necessarily, but, but I think it's a, a personal issue. It's a me issue. It's a, what, what is our role and responsibility with the Lord when it comes to rest and rejuvenation and refreshing. And so I just flat out admitted that I haven't done it well. sounds like you have.
Have you rested this summer Perry? Tell me about your rest, rejuvenation and getting ready then for once you come back from the coast.
Perry (41:43.784)
Thanks for being so transparent and honest with everybody. love that. But yeah, for me, I have had rest this summer. And I think...
think in years past sometimes it's almost been, maybe it's been too much rest, if that's possible, and not enough productivity, you know? Because I know that it feels good as a man to produce. It doesn't necessarily have to be monetary, you know, you can be producing other things too, but I think that we are made in God's image, and God's a creator, and so I think there's a balance there that I do believe
The vast majority of the percentage of people err on the side of I've got to be busy. I've got to be productive. I've got to be whatever. But I do think there's also a percentage that maybe is resting too much. You you're not, you're not being productive enough. know for me, if I'm not being productive, sometimes that tends to make my attitude and my spirit be a little bit more on the blue side or a little bit more on the downtrodden side.
you know, because it feels good to be productive. And so I think there is a balance to be found there. And for me personally, JP and I starting this fishing charter business this summer has helped me be in, I believe a better balance of productivity and rest. And so that's been cool. and I just kind of, that just kind of hit me right now as you were talking about it, that isn't something that I had.
you know, premeditated or prethought about or anything like that. And, I do think that that there is truth in it because as I speak it, it really resonates. and so hopefully it is resonating with some of the listeners as well. But one of the things that I, that I also wanted to speak to is the daily rest, you know, because oftentimes I believe that we think of rest has to happen on the week of vacation. And obviously you sharing your experience about that one week beach vacation.
Brett Ethridge (43:45.506)
Yes.
Perry (43:54.975)
It's like, it is the opposite of rest, you know, it's, it's increased stress and the name of rest and the pursuit of rest. But I think that if we can begin to find a daily rhythm of rest, that's going to go a long way than trying to just drink from the fire hose of rest, that one week of vacation or those two weeks of vacation every year. So, and I'll tell you what I've been doing.
lately this past week is just being really intentional about when I get back to the house from the early morning workout, make my cup of coffee, instead of reaching for my phone and social media as I sit there and drink my coffee, leave my phone inside the house, grab my Bible, go sit on the back deck and dive into the scriptures a little bit. And that's been very rejuvenative and restful for me.
in this past week of leaving that beach life and coming back home for a little season to get, you know, a week to get some, some things done around our business home and our house and all that stuff. And so that, kind of took me getting out of that, you know, environment that I was in at the coast, waking up early, doing fishing charters, waking up early, going surfing, you know, whatever, and having that moment of sit down with a cup of coffee at home in the back deck.
and make that shift from the habit of electronics and social media. Maybe you have the habit of email. I've got to get up and check my email first thing in the day. Maybe you have the habit of, you know, whatever it is. But I just made that intentional change to, I'm going to seek rest in the Lord through the scripture in the morning. And that's been really good for me. I've loved it.
Brett Ethridge (45:46.912)
Yeah, that's really good, Perry. And that's really good encouragement. And I think it's spot on because, you know, in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, frantically, I only have three weeks until kids go back to school. And then it really is going to ramp up. I need to go book a cabin in Gatlinburg, which was close to where I live and ask my wife to take care of the kids for two days. So I can just literally go get away by myself for two days or three days.
But I don't think that's the answer either. That's not necessarily what I need to do. have family responsibilities and things like that, but I think you're exactly right that you can find the rest in the day to day. And indeed we're called to that, right? There's this concept of the Sabbath and, and, and I've had it in mind that I would like to do. If not an entire series, certainly a full episode on this podcast about the Sabbath and really study it and look at it and try to figure out how to implement it better than I, I certainly have. So I think.
Make sure you subscribe to this podcast. So you're alerted when we drop that. Cause I think that is an episode that I want to do, but I was convicted though about exactly what you're talking about. As I've been reflecting on this and realizing that a week vacation at the beach isn't necessarily the answer. is a little bit more of the day to day. And you know, in Mark chapter two, at the end of that chapter, verse 27, he's talking about the Sabbath. The Pharisees of course are trying to trap him and accuse him and my gosh, you're.
Your disciples are picking wheat on the Sabbath. That's a violation. That's work. You know, it's like all this legalistic stuff. And Jesus is like, you can just picture him like slapping his forehead. Like they still don't get it. Like what is going on here? And he says, the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. That's what he says in verse 27. The Sabbath isn't about me, God, Jesus.
Perry (47:29.01)
That's right.
Brett Ethridge (47:35.384)
You're not making me happy because you're taking a day of rest and going to church on Sundays and not working on Sundays. Like, okay, good for you, but I'm not getting anything from that. It's for you. The Sabbath is for you because you, need the rest, the rejuvenation, the restoration. And so we're missing out on a big part of what God has for us if we are not tapping into something that he has given us.
Perry (47:47.262)
That's right. That's right.
Brett Ethridge (48:02.54)
Whether that's a full day off doesn't have to be Sunday guys. Like everybody's like Sabbath has to be Sunday. And then I pass these billboards. You know, when you live in the South, the Bible belt and I literally pass billboards. Somebody has paid thousands of dollars to try to convince me that Friday is the real Sabbath or Saturday is the real Sabbath. You know, it's like, Sabbath is not Sunday. It's Friday. I'm like, you paid a billboard to try to convince me. That's okay. It has nothing to do with what day it is. What it does have to do with is are you intentionally resting?
Perry (48:17.816)
the
Perry (48:24.146)
Right.
Brett Ethridge (48:31.99)
And resting in me, meaning like rest in me that goes back to the core to the beginning. Bring your burdens to me. Sit down with your Bible. Read some scripture. Pray. Meditate. Sip your coffee. Take 30 seconds off. Take five minutes off. Take a part of each day if you want to do that. Think about it as like tithing a portion of your day or tie the whole portion of your week if you have the ability to take a full day off during the week. know, I again.
Perry (48:33.692)
Yes.
Brett Ethridge (48:59.116)
This is going to be a separate episode, but that also has been my conviction period. I think you're spot on that, and I think there's a lot of opportunity within the day-to-day to rest so that you are rejuvenated to attack the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of the school year. It doesn't have to be a full summer at the coast.
Perry (49:17.052)
That's right. And it doesn't have to be a full weekend at Gatlinburg. know, like back when I was in vocational ministry, you know, 20 years ago, I would do one day a month where I just left, left my phone and I just went out into the woods. I lived in Brevard, you know, Pisgah forest, North Carolina at the time. And maybe that's a solution for you as you're juggling so many big responsibilities right now, starting a new business, young family, you know, all these things, right? The farm, all the stuff.
Brett Ethridge (49:20.236)
That's right. That's right.
Perry (49:45.073)
Maybe it's not a weekend at Gatlinburg. Maybe it's just a single day where you can go hike Mount LeConte by yourself, you know, or whatever, and just go be out in the woods with the Lord, take your Bible, leave your phone, you know. And so, yeah, I think it's spot on. I think it's a daily thing. And then also, you know, whether we can find some chunk.
a week, whether it's a morning or whatever, and then some chunk per month, and then some chunk per year. You all these things are good.
Brett Ethridge (50:28.278)
Okay, what I was gonna say was I was trying to figure out how to mute it and I know. But I'm gonna that's that's fine. I'm gonna wrap things up. have a 930 call I'm supposed to get on and a little bit. Well, good stuff. I hope I hope this conversation is at least prompted some ideas about rest. Like I said, we'll try to revisit this idea of the Sabbath in general. but whatever time you have left in your summer, if you haven't found rest yet, if you haven't been intentional there.
Perry (50:31.174)
You muted. All of that was muted.
Perry (50:37.724)
Yeah, yeah. Yep.
Brett Ethridge (50:56.386)
My encouragement is just to go ahead and do it. Find it. Hopefully you guys listening have had some fun, adventurous experiences this summer. Again, if you're listening to this and it's not the summertime, you know, all of this latter part of the conversation is still relevant. Perry, I'm glad you guys have had such a good time. Enjoy finishing up the rest of your charter. How much longer do you have in your charter season before you guys come back from the coast? Okay, so a few more trips and yeah, I'll just be praying that you guys have some really cool experiences and...
Perry (51:18.366)
We'll get about four more weeks.
Brett Ethridge (51:25.176)
great opportunities to connect with the people on your charters and be a witness for the kingdom. think that's really cool that that's the direction you've gone with your business. So cool man.
Perry (51:33.234)
Thanks, brother. Appreciate the encouragement and I am thrilled about the baptism and the rededication that happened this summer. I'll definitely be continuing to pray for your boys and your family and that process of what's next, you know, because those things mark the start of an adventure. doesn't, it's not a one-time thing, right? And so to all the listeners, that's just a good reminder for myself, for you Brett, for the listeners, know, baptism is...
Brett Ethridge (51:52.76)
That's right. That's exactly right.
Perry (52:03.038)
It's not a one-time event. It's the beginning of the next chapter. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Brett Ethridge (52:05.806)
That's right, especially at age six, right? I mean, at age six, I think he really does know what he believes at age six, but at this point it's about being a disciple of Jesus. And it's my job as his father to help shepherd him there and, um, and point him to the Lord. So, yeah, very cool. Well, good stuff. Thank you as always to the listeners. Uh, it's good to be back in your feed and, talking with you. I always feel like we are having a conversation. know Perry and I do a lot of talking, but, uh, we really have a heart to.
Perry (52:19.879)
Amen.
Brett Ethridge (52:33.304)
to have conversations that we hope are impactful for you guys as you listen. I actually have a really cool guest lined up in the next couple of weeks to discuss what I think is a really, really important topic. I'll just leave that tease there until we're ready to announce it. But make sure if you haven't yet, click the follow button or subscribe button on whatever app you're using to listen to podcasts. Do that so you're alerted whenever those episodes drop.
We will get back with you as soon as we can as our summers wrap up and we stabilize back into sort of a more normal rhythm. But for now I will sign off and we'll talk with you again later on the faithful fatherhood podcast. Be blessed everyone.
Perry (53:12.293)
Awesome. Thanks brother. Sounds great.
Brett Ethridge (53:13.006)
Good stuff, man. Let it go to 100 % and I'll talk to you later.
